I haven't taken the time to post in the last 9 days because I've been too busy staring constantly at the precious little gift we were blessed with last weekend. Sweet baby,
Isla Skye McMahan
arrived, unlike the rest of her family, on time on October 13th at 12:03 a.m.
Her birth was swift and perfect.
I can't tell you how overcome with thankfulness I've been in the last two weeks. We are so fortunate. From our family and friends taking incredible care of us, to thoughtful messages from others, to gifts and treats. We are so lucky to have loving family that we were all able to stay with both while we waited in town for her to arrive and the two nights she and I spent at the hospital. I had a wonderful collection of people with me when she was born and I am so very thankful for that.
I looked back at my three incredible kids on the drive home and wondered how I got so lucky. And for them to have one of the best Papa's I've ever seen.
Friends have cooked for me, treated me with the most thoughtful of gifts, sent their love...
Our house is so filled with love right now.
I want to hold time right here and savor every single moment of it...
If I could just wrap this moment up and put it in my pocket to save for always. I'm certain there will be a time when I'll look back and long for these simple days.
These days when our life is honestly based around eating and sleeping and growing.
The feeling of the softest-of-soft newborn skin in their first hours.
When the very first thing Ever & Tell think to do when they wake is come in and hold their new sister and kiss her. If Tell has been gone somewhere, he comes home and goes through every room until he finds where she's resting.
I had big plans to prepare for Baby #3. I have made lists. And lists. And lists. I'm sure I will find them all, unchecked of course, when she's about 14 months old .... But now that the countdown is 10 days I've found myself placing more value on sanity and energy preservation than preparation.
I know this will come back to bite me.
But seriously. I have done very little these last couple weeks. And I think it's an unconscious attempt at self-preservation because really, I am very inefficient right now. If I have the energy and correct muscles left in place to accomplish something, I usually lack the mental clarity or decisiveness to complete (or more often, start) it. If I can think straight about something that needs taken care of, usually I run out of steam before even attempting it. I've given up. It'll all be okay.
Then today a whole new wave of unpreparedness hit me at the kids' naptime. My heart. This baby is 100% blessing, no doubt about it. But I look at Ever and worry about the things I'm going to miss during the business and excitement and weariness of this next phase. I look at Tell and suddenly realize how very much he still looks like a baby when he's sleeping. I tell my heart to grow and my will to stiffen and buck up, because loving three is going to take more effort, but it will all come back to me a million times over, I know...
I'm in love with my kids. Every day I get frustrated and angry with them, but every day I thank God from the bottom of my heart for placing them here with me. They are so excited to meet their little sister and so am I. They love to blow raspberries on my tummy and laugh and I'm sure she can hear their excitement. It is truly a special, special time.
So, that said, now if anyone can tell me of a safe and legal drug that will give me the energy and peace of mind to play with them and teach them and gaze at their angel faces while they sleep and clean and cook and maybe even exercise and still be a happy, smiling, calm mother, please let me know ;)