Preparing for Baby #3.
I had big plans to prepare for Baby #3. I have made lists. And lists. And lists. I'm sure I will find them all, unchecked of course, when she's about 14 months old .... But now that the countdown is 10 days I've found myself placing more value on sanity and energy preservation than preparation.
But seriously. I have done very little these last couple weeks. And I think it's an unconscious attempt at self-preservation because really, I am very inefficient right now. If I have the energy and correct muscles left in place to accomplish something, I usually lack the mental clarity or decisiveness to complete (or more often, start) it. If I can think straight about something that needs taken care of, usually I run out of steam before even attempting it. I've given up. It'll all be okay.
Then today a whole new wave of unpreparedness hit me at the kids' naptime. My heart. This baby is 100% blessing, no doubt about it. But I look at Ever and worry about the things I'm going to miss during the business and excitement and weariness of this next phase. I look at Tell and suddenly realize how very much he still looks like a baby when he's sleeping. I tell my heart to grow and my will to stiffen and buck up, because loving three is going to take more effort, but it will all come back to me a million times over, I know...
I'm in love with my kids. Every day I get frustrated and angry with them, but every day I thank God from the bottom of my heart for placing them here with me. They are so excited to meet their little sister and so am I. They love to blow raspberries on my tummy and laugh and I'm sure she can hear their excitement. It is truly a special, special time.
So, that said, now if anyone can tell me of a safe and legal drug that will give me the energy and peace of mind to play with them and teach them and gaze at their angel faces while they sleep and clean and cook and maybe even exercise and still be a happy, smiling, calm mother, please let me know ;)
I know this will come back to bite me.
But seriously. I have done very little these last couple weeks. And I think it's an unconscious attempt at self-preservation because really, I am very inefficient right now. If I have the energy and correct muscles left in place to accomplish something, I usually lack the mental clarity or decisiveness to complete (or more often, start) it. If I can think straight about something that needs taken care of, usually I run out of steam before even attempting it. I've given up. It'll all be okay.
Then today a whole new wave of unpreparedness hit me at the kids' naptime. My heart. This baby is 100% blessing, no doubt about it. But I look at Ever and worry about the things I'm going to miss during the business and excitement and weariness of this next phase. I look at Tell and suddenly realize how very much he still looks like a baby when he's sleeping. I tell my heart to grow and my will to stiffen and buck up, because loving three is going to take more effort, but it will all come back to me a million times over, I know...
I'm in love with my kids. Every day I get frustrated and angry with them, but every day I thank God from the bottom of my heart for placing them here with me. They are so excited to meet their little sister and so am I. They love to blow raspberries on my tummy and laugh and I'm sure she can hear their excitement. It is truly a special, special time.
So, that said, now if anyone can tell me of a safe and legal drug that will give me the energy and peace of mind to play with them and teach them and gaze at their angel faces while they sleep and clean and cook and maybe even exercise and still be a happy, smiling, calm mother, please let me know ;)
xoxo
You are the most incredible Mother & it shows. What a blessing you are to everyone & any one that knows you. I know I certainly feel blessed to know you. I can honestly say that having my children was the best decision I ever made. My life is complete for bringing them into this world. The love between a Mother & her child is the most wonderful thing. Your eloquent words remind me of how I miss the days of watching my innocent angels sleeping. Hugs to you beautiful lady. Can't wait for your new bundle of joy to get here. xxoo
ReplyDeleteI'm looking for that drug, too, and I'm not even pregnant! :)
ReplyDeletePrayers for you all during this super exciting and exhausting and overwhelming and special time.
Oh, Jackie you will do wonderfully! I am thrilled for you all, and your post is a good reminder to enjoy the simple times with one (even though it sometimes doesn't seem simple). What a sweet family you will have with love growing exponentially in all directions!! Can't wait to hear how it all goes and the name the little gal will be blessed with.
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