Becoming.

I realized the other day something about parenting that took my breath away...

There have been many times over the years when I've been upset and arguing with Bryan and as I'm talking there is a tiny, tiny voice in my heart saying, "You should be telling this to yourself." There's a psychology term for it. What is it... what is it... I can't remember.

Anyway, this feeling reminds me of that feeling. As we are struggling with certain behaviors in Ever, I have realized that as my child she has also become the most brutally honest mirror of myself. If I am honest with myself, I can admit that she has learned most of her behaviors from me, and that includes the bad ones. I see my temper in her. I see my lack of patience in her.

Unfortunately, when God handed me this beautiful child he didn't hand me an extra gift of patience or extra wisdom. I am working on that and praying for it.

In short, I guess I feel that (if we are lucky) we are given children, but we must become parents.

Lord, help me ;)